Protect Hearts while brain breaks down Body.

 Good day

Let me start with a small disclaimer.

Please note what ever I put in this blog is from my heart based on some facts but names and places have been changed to protect the not so innocent.

I want to start by thanking friends, family and loved ones that have over the past 11 years supported and carried me. 

Once again this weekend was so cool to meet new people that just don't judge.

The story today is a short but relevant story maybe to more people then we think.

So after my diagnosis of MS I was confused, scared, uncertain....... This then made me take some decisions for myself but also for people in my life.

So we all know the story of the Heart and the Brain in your body, personally there as been numerous times where I asked myself do you make a Heart decision or a Brain Decision. Funny most of the times these decisions are polar opposites to each other.

So what do you do to protect Hearts.. My own and people Around me. 

So we PWMS (People with MS) types have this big challenge that our Brain is gradually breaking down our body. Losing feelings in hands, Then Feet, the Eye sight, then... and so we go on. But our Hearts are somehow being protected physically, but that emotional Heart, that Heart that talks about caring, love and support. 

So I needed to make a clear understanding that I would never want to be a burden to anyone specially a loved one. So now we have in my body the brain breaking me down physical... gradually. I have a heart that has a need to reach out to people and loved ones and then the reality... 

So this reality is constantly changing and fighting inside a body that is sometimes in pain, sometimes numb sometimes great. The constant fighting of the heart is a real challenge more then the physical challenges of MS.

So protecting Hearts of people you sometimes need to walk away, have a clear do not enter sign on the heart. So this a view to protect other Hearts not necessary one own heart, but these action sadly sometime leads to heartache to people you care about. 

 “Whatever makes an impression on the heart seems lovely in the eye.” —Sadi

Family

Family

Having been blessed to spend time with extended family for the past week it just made me rethink how lucky I am to have such an amasing extended family.

These last few days made me think about the importance of family and extended family.

I have been thinking how the best to break it down so I will try my best:

F - Friends with this as a base to my family I have been blessed to get through the challenges in my live. I can always rely on them to up lift me from the days that all is well and the days spend in hospital.

A - Approval by this it is not to get approval but that the people around me give me approval for what I do with no hidden agendas.

M - Maturity to accept me for what I am and for what I will be going through in the future. Take me for person with MS I am and to not question what I do or say.

I - Individuality of every person that I have met with during this time.  From the Practise Manager that met me at my worst while having Chemotherapy, the Doctor that was bringing us food during my treatment,  the people that send me the Angel of Miracles from Ireland,  the people sharing a Jameson Whiskey on a road trip through Ireland, people running marathons on my behalf, and so I can continue.

L - Love for every single person that have changed and is changing my life on a daily basis. This is my direct family, my kids,  my brother from another mother 27 years down the line, Doc E for 15 years to the new individual people I have got to know the last week.

Y - Y? To all the people around me to help me with the question why? I have made peace with the question on why? But thanks to the family around me I can except the future and live in the moment.

So with this I want to thank my family for trying to make me a better person.

Thanks

Bitter Sweet

This last number of weeks have been a major realisation as to what life is like.

I was fortunate enough to have been part of a close friend’s wedding.  The whole story of the wedding and how you got there is not my story. But the short 15 years I was blessed to be part of my friend’s life and journey. I learned so much.  I learned about real pain and rejection from my friend and from my own personal experiences.

The details are not important but it took both of us in a pendulum swing, first left then right.  But it was such an experience to be part of their journey and to realise that this universe does create the moment in time where the pendulum will reach equilibrium again and there is peace for all involved. From the couple that got married, the kids that become part of the new family; The parents the family and the close friends that could experience the point of equilibrium.

For me it has been a time to reflect on the similar process.  As I was on a 4 day of Solimedrol (Cortisone Treatment) I had time to reflect on my on pendulum, and I realised that was closer to my point of equilibrium.  But it was clear that I needed to make the decision to get there. The (lets for now call it)   Universe provides us the opportunities to reach each our own point of equilibrium in our life.

We get emotional, stressed and disappointed by so many things around us that are just there to create confusion regarding our point of equilibrium. Personally I was disappointed with people that are not even friends or family or that contribute to any people I care about that I almost ended in high care due to a blood pressure of 171 / 111, I have no knowledge of medicine but with all the lights flashing and people running in I realised it was not a joke.

But then the lights came on and I realised that I was so blessed that when I was getting all the blessing from phone calls, SMS'E,  BBM,  Visitors at hospital, Facebook and Twitter. I realised I was a proud dad of two great kids, Lizzy and Jean, for taking control of their future in times like this, amazing!

I know that we all have our own Bitter and our own Sweet but with the right attention we can get to the point of Equilibrium like a good bottle of Red Wine.

So please for the better of all let us all focus to reach our point of Equilibrium.

That perfect Bitter Sweet moment in our lives!