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So in general I have been writing about life, love and peace and my favourite Equilibrium but today it is about me and Treadmill and MS.
So this started on Saturday Evening after a unbelievable birthday bash for a close friend of mine. So the short story is that I was accompanied by a most unbelievable friend that have been with me through the darkest days of my MS journey.
So as the night carried on it started a relapse in my legs, she was there to make sure that I was never embarrassed by my weakness. When we left she had full faith when I said I was fine in driving the car. She never made it uncomfortable for me.
It is during times like this that in know I am blessed with my friends that respect me.
I now know that I will be submitted to hospital shortly to assist with this.
Walking on the Treadmill today at gym and focusing on getting one foot in front of the next made me feel alive again. That the Universe does give us our own Equilibrium we need to just accept it.
Listening to the following it was view that it was fine to accept that we need to move forward with all in our life.
With life as a whole from love to pain.
Having been blessed to spend time with extended family for the past week it just made me rethink how lucky I am to have such an amasing extended family.
These last few days made me think about the importance of family and extended family.
I have been thinking how the best to break it down so I will try my best:
F - Friends with this as a base to my family I have been blessed to get through the challenges in my live. I can always rely on them to up lift me from the days that all is well and the days spend in hospital.
A - Approval by this it is not to get approval but that the people around me give me approval for what I do with no hidden agendas.
M - Maturity to accept me for what I am and for what I will be going through in the future. Take me for person with MS I am and to not question what I do or say.
I - Individuality of every person that I have met with during this time. From the Practise Manager that met me at my worst while having Chemotherapy, the Doctor that was bringing us food during my treatment, the people that send me the Angel of Miracles from Ireland, the people sharing a Jameson Whiskey on a road trip through Ireland, people running marathons on my behalf, and so I can continue.
L - Love for every single person that have changed and is changing my life on a daily basis. This is my direct family, my kids, my brother from another mother 27 years down the line, Doc E for 15 years to the new individual people I have got to know the last week.
Y - Y? To all the people around me to help me with the question why? I have made peace with the question on why? But thanks to the family around me I can except the future and live in the moment.
So with this I want to thank my family for trying to make me a better person.
As I have started this journey I was not sure where I was hoping to go with it. I knew that like any journey it starts with the first step.
So now that after the past months and weeks where I was going through my own way of clearing the past and working through some real challenging relapses almost on a daily basis I just was blessed by so many things.
The day that I actually made time to take Maria home, she has been looking after me and the kids for 7 plus years I had that sense that there is no equilibrium in the life as we know it.; I was taking Maria home with old clothes and a bed and so much more that we where disposing of as if it was old stuff. Her whole family was so pleased with what we have delivered as they could use it.
It brought the words of Koos Kombuis and his song African Skyline so much back to reality. That this continent we live in and that we love is the harshest place on earth. While some are fighting for love and hunger the rest are just not seeing the picture.
For me to have started a journey of a drifter with no to little personal position, a camera bag, a tablet and back packers pack my eyes have learned what I have never wanted to learn.
It makes me think of the days as boys where we would play on the dump site and create our own toys. As that is how we did it those days in the industrial community we where in. We where the outcasts as we where those kids. The ones the parents warned you about but through sport we could prove ourselves as the masters. But that started creating the winning is not everything but is the only thing behaviour.... And that is and was also a sad day.
As my son and myself was clearing out the house we had David coming to us and removing some unwanted stuff from our house. And I will never forget that at the end he was holding Jean's and my hands and telling us like in nature the big birds would go and find the food and bring it back to the smaller birds to feed, he was comparing Jean and myself as the big birds bringing food home to his family. We (Jean and myself) was not sure if we should cry or hug this man. As I am sure it is a lesson that we will never forget.
So now I know that this journey with its new direction and living each day as it comes is actually worth it.