As I sit after a day of almost just relaxing and focusing on
all the great stuff around you all the friends and family, it slowly does sinks
in. First you just don’t want to accept it but then you realise that it is the
case.
I have been hiding it from myself for months that it
cannot be happening to me. I am above this and I will overcome all. As I am
really excited about getting my legs sorted I am also nervous as what this
really does mean.
I have had my legs tested and there is a rapid loss of the
control in my legs, so I have started the process to get external limb support
made for my legs. The question is will it help, will it change anything? There is
no straight answer but we will try.
It is then that that moment you realise that you in a really
dark space in your life, Honestly it has been the first time since I have been
diagnosed with MS that I am feeling this way. It does make me think of that black hole
syndrome that you need to fight it as once you on the other side it is a whole
new Universe.
I just want to state that these days are special days to us
PwMS as it is these days that we fight to get through as we do believe that all
these battles we are having will only help the people that come after us.
As music is a very important part
of my life the following song “Coolio-
Gangster's Paradise”
has been playing in my head. This is
only as some of the struggle we have relates to this song, we would like to get
out of this struggle with MS but we can’t and we have to be at peace with it.
We need to get our own point of
EQUILIBRIUM.
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