The pink Cloud of Illusion

 The Pink Cloud of Illusion: A Reflection on the Dreaded disease 

There are moments in life when clarity arrives not as a sharp blade, but as a soft mist—rosy, comforting, and dangerously deceptive. The “pink cloud” is one such moment. It drifts in after diagnosis, after the shock, after the tears. It whispers, “You’re strong. You’ve got this. Everything will be okay.” And for a time, we believe it.

But beneath that pastel haze lies the jagged terrain of the dreaded disease—whether it be multiple sclerosis, cancer, or any chronic condition that rewrites the script of one’s life. The pink cloud is not healing. It is illusion. It is the mind’s desperate attempt to reclaim control, to paint over fear with optimism, to turn suffering into a story of triumph before the real battle has begun.

In the early days, the pink cloud feels like grace. Friends rally. Doctors speak in hopeful tones. You read articles about breakthroughs and miracle recoveries. You journal. You meditate. You tell yourself that this disease will not define you. And yet, slowly, reality seeps in. The body does not obey. The fatigue is not poetic. The costs—emotional, financial, relational—pile up like unspoken debts. The pink begins to fade, revealing the grayscale truth beneath.

This illusion is not without purpose. It protects us from drowning in despair. It gives us time to gather strength. But if we cling to it too long, we risk spiritual bypass—we skip the grief, the rage, the reckoning. We become performers in our own recovery, smiling for others while quietly unraveling inside.

To confront the dreaded disease is to walk through the fog, not around it. It is to name the pain, to sit with uncertainty, to mourn the life that was and still find meaning in the life that is. It is to reject the binary of “sick” or “strong,” and embrace the complexity of being both.

And perhaps, in time, the pink cloud returns—not as illusion, but as integration. Not as denial, but as a gentle hue in a broader emotional palette. We learn to live with contradiction. We find beauty in brokenness. We stop asking for certainty and start seeking connection.

The dreaded disease does not define us. But neither does the pink cloud. What defines us is the courage to see through both—and keep walking

Just Need to return to excepting

 Good day all,

After a long period of silence I am back as it has taken me some time to get myself in the correct mind space.

I still Remember posting the post about Inner Peace and after tests on Monday this was a clear message to myself. I need Inner peace.

In the words of my specialist Gerrie you have been Diagnosed with MS for over 10 years and you will get weaker, things will fall, you will walk into walls and the pain will continue. But I need to decide in my headspace if it will affect me, or change me. 

As we live our lives we as people have a negative outlook at our lives and what we have. After traveling around South Africa and seeing places and meeting people that I never thought of meeting. You have your hours and days of going back in your past.

Starting at the place that I experienced the most sadness, confused as ever before,  uncertainty and the sense of loss. As we were standing next to the grave and looking at the candle burning in the wind,  the words of Sir Elton John Runs through your head Candle in the wind the version that was played for Princess Diana just few weeks after Gerda.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRL5g9ajgqQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Thinking about that time I still remember a good friend of Gerda saying that at least they will both be in good company.

The moment of "MAKE PEACE AND LIVE IN LOVE " Is born!

We as people need to make peace. The death Of a loved one, the loss of loved ones, death of a child, and Severe or terminal illness, we need to make peace to really live in love.

PEACE IS ABOUT
People - Starting with me myself and I
Emotions - Aceptance, Regret and forgiveness
Action - Reaching out and embracing
Commitment - people love, and unconditional love
Energy - Positive Energy

It's in times like these that you become quite and humbled with what we have.
As we live our lives we all get challenged with OPPORTUNITIES. We have the choice what to do with this what we want to . So we can hide it,  we can ignore it or we can work with it. But the choice is our own.  I have learned that the universe will always give us chance to make PEACE with these opportunities. It has taken me years to realise that we need to live in love, as the world can only be a better place if we are surrounded by love.

But love can only be there if you are at total PEACE with yourselve and all that is around you,  the people and the individual challenges.

As a South African I have been given opportunities to learn,  but as I look back I realised that I still need to learn from all the new and old opportunities that I am surrounded with.

So I feel now that I am learning about making peace and Living in love, life is just getting better.

We as people can overcome everything if we have peace in our heart and truly live in love.

Life as a Jail

As we traveled through the Free State, it was clear that we create our own Jail in which we seek Peace. Every experience is "another brick in the wall " (as per Pink Floyd), we build on these walls as it creates peace of mind. So during our life we put these bricks up one by one just like a bricklayer. During this, we are so proud of every brick we have laid that we never stand back to look at what we have created. I realised that these bricks have created a strong jail around me protecting myself and brushing other people away.

So I started a Road Trip down south, not sure what to expect, but I knew I had to go.

After leaving Gauteng with iets hustle and bustle and you start seeing the open landscape I realised that I needed to open up my personal landscape of life. Spending time with my daughter and the road I started opening.

I could see in every little town we entered how I needed to do this, it is all part of closing down the past with no shackles or with any regret. I learned from my daughter that new beginnings or experiences is not wrong and don't always have to be questioned.

Then we reached Philippolis, what can I say? So our accommodation for the evening is a jail cell. Small room built with solid walls and the cells go int ao courtyard that is surrounded by very high walls.These walls exclude us from the outside, we did not get to see or chat with the local people. We are also excluded from a amasing moon for most of the night. So this was the final realisation about how I have created this jail of my life, brick by brick. I also realised that this jail was built by none other than myself. It was clear to me how I was excluding people and experiences from my life because I created a false sense of security. I created my own jail from which only I need to open the door.

So I will start opening doors and taking down walls brick by brick.

All part of the journey!

Sand of time

So as we look at the sand dunes in a Desert change shape and alter the dunes with every altercation in the weather and wind, we see this huge mass of sand change into an awe inspiring creation of nature. When the wind alters slightly there is a small but significant change in the shape of the dunes. When there is a huge sand storm we see significant changes in the desert with dunes literally changing sand moving from one part of the desert to the other. During a storm there are natural casualties from animals to plant life.

But then there is Blissful thunderstorm over the desert and the whole landscape of sand and dust changes. All the footprints and tracks from the past is erased. The sand changes into a most unbelievable landscape of grass and flowers.

So a landscape that is harsh changes into a unbelievable piece of flowery landscape. That now creates this feeling of peace and tranquillity to the people that is surrounded by it. You don't see the past footprints of pain and hardship.

And this is how our life is lived we have the harshness of the desert but then we also have the most amasing feeling of peace and tranquillity. But it is our responsibility to use the blessing around us to find it. These blessings come in various forms but the most important one is the people that surround you. The internal peace and positivity brings out the internal peace in ourselves.

While I have learned that with every storm in my life I go through changes and challenges. These create my own landscape from where I always get thunderstorms to change my life to be peaceful and tranquil. The more my life is changed by wind and storms the more i am getting blessed by those wonderful thunderstorms in the form of people that bring the changes I need in full blossom.

And as it is when nature takes it course we always will be fine. So during my life I have learned that with the hardest storm there will be the most amasing rain and thunderstorm that brings the most amasing peace and tranquillity.

So this is the start of some of my storms of changes and people that made me who I am and we all have similar experiences.

The route to peace and tranquillity.